Abusive Relationship Signs
You MUST Give Me What I Want!

 

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

“I want what I want because I want it, and I’m not letting up until you give it to me. I will badger you even when you are not aware (so I think) to wear you down into submission. Deep down inside I know you seek to please me, thus I will help you change your mind so you can make me happy.” Sound familiar?

If you are in an abusive relationship, I know you know this one. It’s the relentless pursuit of what your partner seeks irrespective of your wishes.

Your Pseudo Control

“I will help you see that no matter what you do, there will always be something wrong with it...or with you beyond it. You must realize that you are deficient and this I will make sure of...trust me. Your confidence is in my hands, that is what’s left of it. I will help you chop it up until it is unrecognizable.”

“And if push comes to shove over me getting what I want, you are responsible for letting it go this far. The sooner you relent, the less damage you will make me do. So it’s all in your hands. You can choose the outcome of this interaction.”

There Is No Reality, But My Reality

“What you believe to be true is ridiculous. You see, I am the keeper of the ‘facts.’ If you fail to recall or adopt these facts, then there must be something terribly wrong with you. Should we discover that to be the case, then I will be forced to help you see the light.”

“I promise to drag you through the depths of your demise so you shake yourself awake onto my truth. We can keep this going until you simply awaken and accommodate my wishes. So it is your choice to acknowledge the reality I have created for us.”

Battering and Badgering to Get It Done

“I know it is wrong to batter you, but it seems to be the only way I can get you to ‘cooperate’ (you know: fulfill my desires). If we are not working toward making me happy, our relationship is simply not working. You do know it is and will always be about me; and you do not exist, other than to support this commitment.”

“I hate when you challenge me. When you do, I feel an even greater need to put you in your place. You realize that this will not stop until you give me what I want. Right?”

Conclusions and Recommendations

If this rings true for you in your experience of your relationship, take a hard and honest look at the dynamics of abusive relationships, before yours spirals out of control.

For more information on identifying abusive relationships in the context of relationship therapy, visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ipas.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. © Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention