Receive Survivor Success Tips & Insights and get FREE life-saving, life-enhancing support by email.

First Name:

Last Name: (optional)

Email:

Zip Code: (optional)

We respect your privacy.
We do not sell or share
email addresses.

"Diagnose an Abusive Relationship, Instantly and Learn the 5 'Red Flags' to Be Aware of...

Discover doctor's secrets for recognizing and stopping partner/spousal abuse.

Understand why emotional verbal abuse toward you is not about you. And see what keeps it going and what stops it."

From the desk of Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Friday July 25, 2008

Dear Friend,

If you’ve ever wondered or asked the question, “Am I in one?" ("Am I in an abusive relationship?”), then I encourage you to read the following page very carefully!

How do you know if you are in a dangerous relationship?

“Is this abuse?” That’s a question we ask again and again, even when we have the answer from the core of our being. Yet, your partner continues to say, “It’s in your head,” “You just bruise too easily,” or how about this one, “If you weren’t so sensitive…”

And when all these fail to convince or confuse you, he/she claims, "It was an accident," caused by you. “It’s your fault.” “You made me do it." "You made me say it."

You know the drill.

I'll never forget the way my ex-husband enjoyed calling me "moose" when I was carring our first child. I had spent my adult life 5' 7" tall, weighing 118 pounds, and had no framework for such name calling—much less an understanding of why he was so okay with what was so obviously painful to me.

Obstetrics was his profession. And he cleverly convinced me that my emotional ache over his new name for me was because I was too sensitive.

He was wrong and I was blind. It went from names, character assualts, emotional manipulations, black & blue bruises to fists, belts, welts, physical injuries and more. ...Much more.

Domestic abuse eludes us at home;
yet, fascinates us as a society.

Have you ever noticed how intimate partner violence is such a popular theme on TV and frequently covered news event? We are intrigued by it, yet many people fail to truly understand it. ...And when it happens in our own lives, it confuses us and those around us.

You'ver heard it. People say, “What made him/her do that?”

So what is Domestic Abuse?

Spousal Abuse?

Emotional Abuse & Verbal Abuse?

Intimate Partner Violence?

...And what stops it?

More often what we do to stop it, keeps it going. As hard as it may be to hear this, it’s true that our very efforts to bring the abuse to a halt can, and often do, keep it going. And domestic abuse, by its nature, goes in one direction—it escalates over time. That’s right, it gets worse!

Now I’m not suggesting it is your fault, nor is it your job to stop your partner’s abuse toward you. Let’s face it, you are not responsible for his/her battering behavior. And even if you do think it is your “job” to fix it, guess what? You can’t! (It's not yours to fix. It's really not about you.)

Battering is fully owned, operated and controlled by the abuser

...and NO ONE ELSE!

What I am suggesting is by recognizing and understanding what allows and supports the status-quo, we open doors for change and healing occurs on many levels.

When I awakened to the fact that my children and I were entangled in a serious cycle of family violence, my life changed overnight. I suddenly became a student of the law, of the dynamics of abusive relationships, and of the pathology of battering behavior.

In my study, I made an amazing discovery. I identified the subtle communication patterns of intimate partner violence and recognized that these patterns characterized my relationship with my abusive partner and abusive relationships in general.

These interaction patterns, which I call the “subtle communication patterns of intimate partner abuse,” are the little unconscious ways couples in an abusive relationship relate to each other. ...And they serve to maintain the abuse dynamic.

These subtle communication patterns

keep it going in all its pain…

Day by Day, Month after Month, Year by Year!

You know how it feels. When your partner hears your "no" as an invitation, or as a challenge, to convert into a "yes." These daily tug-a-wars become the wallpaper of your home. And on more days than you wish, become the bricks that come smashing down on you and keep you awake silently screaming.

I realized certain thoughts, feelings and actions support the abuse dynamic; and other thoughts, feelings and actions interrupt its hold. I clearly saw what breaks the battering dynamic. …what stops partner/spousal abuse.

You have options!

Each day that we exercise these other options,
we re-build from the inside out.

My health returned: restful sleep, normal digestion, healthy elimination, mental clarity, stamina, and even my inner well-being came back. It was as though I returned back to myself and all that I was—before the battering relationship—returned to me.

If it happened for me, it can happen for you. We are all built with the same identical healing mechanism and we all have a capacity for self-repair on many levels.

My hope is to shorten your learning curve, so your road to peace and well-being is less painful than mine. My children and I went from the frying pan of family violence to the fire of abuse beyond control. Your road to reclaiming your life, and your peace, can be less costly to you then it was for me.

Now let’s talk about how to shine the light on domestic abuse so we can answer some of the important questions we have raised:

	Am I in an abusive relationship?
	What is verbal abuse?
	What are the signs of emotional abuse?
	What is intimate partner violence ...and what stops it?

All of these questions can be addressed and your answers well on their way in moments. How many moments? That depends where you are in the process. I have seen thousands of people get amazingly clear within 15 minutes by taking the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®.

What is the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®?

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® is a tool I developed to help people recognize domestic abuse when it lives in their lives. I was inspired to develop this screening tool by audiences who repeatedly asked me to help them help their patients see what’s so obvious—looking from the outside in. Physicians and nurses nationwide wanted to know, “How do I shine light?” for patients who are being abused.

“It’s an excellent tool for assessing domestic violence.” Teresa Nirider, RN, Public Health Nurse, WY Department of Health, Family Nurse Partnership Program.

Intimate Partner Abuse Screen

“Seeing the subtle violations helped me recognize what drives his verbal abuse." S.A., San Diego, CA

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® is a private, user-friendly, quick, accurate screen for intimate partner violence, commonly called spousal abuse, intimate partner abuse or domestic abuse.

It hones in on the dynamics of intimate partner violence, unclouded by other relationship issues. Through its specialized focus, the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® brings the abuse issue at hand under the microscope making it easier for you to detect should it be there.

And if your experience is indeed NOT intimate partner violence (that is, if it doesn’t fulfill the diagnostic criteria for intimate partner violence), that will become apparent as well.

Often times, people think what they are experiencing is partner or spousal abuse when they are really encountering the symptoms that are a byproduct of substance abuse or poor communication and/or coping skills.

Knowing this distinction makes it possible to select the appropriate intervention for one’s condition/situation. I can’t emphasize the importance of this enough! You wouldn’t want treatment for one condition if you indeed suffered from another condition, would you?

Then there are those of us who are indeed entangled in domestic abuse yet can’t, or won’t, recognize it because we don’t think we identify with the issue. (“It’s something that happens to other people!”)

I remember seeing a domestic violence poster in which the woman had a black and blue eye, and I convinced myself that I wasn’t dealing with “domestic violence” because I didn’t have one of those.

Funny thing is I had already suffered from a cervical spine injury in which it took four years for me to fully recover—an injury resulting from a domestic assault. (The things we tell ourselves to keep safe are often the very thoughts that keep our wars alive.)

You Can End Your Confusion about Domestic Violence and Emotional Verbal Abuse Once and for All!

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® will take you by the hand and guide you in plain English in how to find your answers to the questions and understand your results.

It was professionally designed incorporating a multidimensional evaluation approach. It looks at…

the obvious signs as well as the subtle signs
the external behavioral symptoms as well as the internal affective aspects
the actions, feelings and innermost thoughts associated with abuse
and lastly, it seeks to capture the vantage point of both the abuser and the abused

In addition to the questions, the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® includes audio and written instructions for taking the test along with an interpretation of your responses. This allows you to draw meaningful conclusions for yourself.

What this test is not. It’s not just a laundry list of what abuse looks like. It’s not a personality test or psychological profile.

…Rather, it is more of an interpersonal and intrapersonal profile. And it shows you how abuse lives in one’s life. It helps you determine if intimate partner abuse is actually in yours. The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® will help you understand the pieces of the mysterious partner/spousal abuse puzzle and its emotional verbal abuse components.

"The test showed me the abuse from the inside out and that helped me deal with it." M.M. Flagstaff, AZ

"It gave me confidence and tools to help people recognize relationship violence." L.N., Social Worker, Department of Social Services, Rapid City, SD

What You Get from the
Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®

Provides you with a clear recognition and accurate understanding of partner/spousal abuse and its “red flags.” You will discover the 5 distinctive, defining core characteristics which allows you to definitively answer the common question: “Am I in an abusive relationship?”

Reveals the underlying dynamics of domestic abuse, in addition to the outward symptoms, helping you see that your partner’s verbal, emotional and/or physical attacks toward you are actually not about you.

Unlocks the essential steps toward remedy because the vital information revealed in taking this test gives you clear understanding of what keeps partner/spousal abuse going and what potentially stops it.

Immediate results thanks to 34 “yes” or “no” questions that are focused and to the point, giving you meaningful insights instantly.

Reveals the traits and behaviors of intimate partner abusers which means you will see the difference between partner/spousal abuse and your partner’s unique personality characteristics.

Uncovers the outward signals of intimate partner victimization so you see the behavioral signs of anyone who is in an abusive relationship, making it easier to recognize within yourself.

You will identify the inner thoughts, feelings and interaction habits of living in an abusive relationship thanks to the way the test uncovers personal internal signs of partner victimization.

Identifies the subtle communication patterns of partner/spousal abuse, which opens doors for alternate ways to interact with your partner as your unconscious dialogue, while being abused, becomes apparent.

Private and confidential because you are the only person involved in your taking this test. It is “user self-sufficient.”

You can take the test with peace of mind, knowing it is discrete and safe thanks to its online administration and printable evaluation. The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® questions and your responses are not placed on your computer.

The instructions for taking the test offer clinically proven steps to gain personal insight and direction, which means simply taking the test moves you through the steps of a potentially life-changing therapeutic process of self-discovery.

Audio guidelines by seasoned psychologist Dr. King to help you access your inner voice, giving you entry into your own insights and personal answers.

Interpretation and personalized evaluative report answering your question, “Is this intimate partner violence?”

You will get the full picture defining partner/spousal abuse which helps you focus on what corrects it rather than how it expresses itself, thanks to the interpretive results showing the shocking truth of what domestic abuse is and what it is not.

Intimate Partner Abuse Screen

"Since taking the test, I don't feel crazy. I realize the crazy-making stuff is not about me. What an eye-opener! Thank you." S.A., Washington DC

Your Questions and Your Concerns

By now you may have some questions. You might be thinking…

I have no questions, take me to the test now

Why don’t I bring the abuse issue to a marital/couples counselor?

This could be as dangerous as going to your dentist for a pap smear. Marital and couples therapy are improper methods to effect therapeutic change for domestic abuse.

Marital and family therapy is suitable for couples and family issues. As you will see, partner/spousal abuse is not in this category.

In one of the free Bonuses that comes with the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®, I explain in greater depth why couples therapy is inappropriate for domestic abuse intervention, why it does not—and cannot—end battering, and how it can even be dangerous for the abused partner.

You may have also contemplated speaking with a divorce attorney (either now or later).

This too can exacerbate your danger if other steps are not taken first. It is extremely important that you first get clear and grounded in your understanding and strategic planning for your safety before expecting a professional from one discipline to manage the issues inherent in another profession.

And most important be mindful that civil court is not the proper forum for domestic abuse intervention. The reasons for this are also detailed in your Bonuses that accompany the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®.

Maybe I should talk to my psychologist about the abuse.

Here’s the shocker!!! Psychologists and psychiatrists are not trained in domestic violence interventions as prescribed by domestic violence experts. And even scarier: they can be, and often are, manipulated in the therapeutic process by the perpetrator to carry out his/her agenda.

Now I realize this is a strong statement to make given that I’m a psychologist of over 25 years, but it’s true—and was even true for me. My professional training and practice was in bio-behavioral medicine, in which I helped people with chronic medical disorders to ease their pain, mend their injuries and heal their illnesses.

Domestic violence education was not—and is not—part of the traditional curriculum for psychologists.

My training in domestic abuse didn’t occur until my postgraduate, post personal experience of family violence. And I received my doctorate in psychology from one of the top universities in the United States.

There are far too many nuances specific to domestic abuse intervention to expect proper management by people from other professions (as we have discussed). Let these other professionals manage what they are trained in, and proficient at, and use domestic abuse specialists for domestic violence. This way you get the best of both worlds.

Why not just get a freebie abuse checklist on the Internet?

Many of the free checklists focus on a few of the “popularized” symptoms of abuse, rather than on the full constellation of symptoms that constitute this syndrome—the 5 “red flags”—the 5 distinctive, defining core characteristics.

I’m guessing you want to go deeper in your understanding of what this syndrome truly is and clarify for yourself if “intimate partner violence,” as defined by the professional literature, is what troubles you.

I’m also imagining that you want your understanding of domestic abuse to be relevant to your world, your inner world and your outer world. You won’t get this personalization from a mere checklist that does not evaluate your results, or analyze and interpret your answers. Your ability to draw meaningful conclusions becomes guesswork at best with these freebie checklists.

Maybe I don’t really want “understanding,” because blindness is bliss.

While it is true, blindness may feel like bliss; knowledge is power!

If you know what you are dealing with, you will be more effective in accomplishing the outcome you desire. Whereas if you do not know what you are dealing with, you can get blindsided by malicious maneuvers, paralyzing positioning and vicious, devastating assaults…any of which can turn your life upside down. Don’t let that happen to you! Many people never recover.

Find out what it is that troubles you and you will be in a better position to remedy it. Attempts at remedy without knowing what you are dealing with can make your troubles worse, MUCH worse!!! Trust me. I speak from my own experience and that of thousands of people I have worked with over the years.

The good part here is that there are sound, viable options for treating partner/spousal abuse, if and when it is properly identified. The Special Report that comes with your Free Bonuses details what works and what doesn’t.

What if my partner finds out that I took this test?

You will complete the entire test from this website AND obtain your results from here as well. Then close the website AND the knowledge, along with your understanding, remain in your head and heart—leaving no paper trail behind.

Also, rest assured that your answers to the test questions are not retained with your identifying information. You will see we don’t even ask your name on the test itself. We purposely do not capture this information in combination so as to honor your personal privacy.

Should you use your credit card in this transaction, be assured that I know the “partner-finding-out” issue and safety implications for you like the back of my hand. That’s why your transaction will be posted on your statement as coming from King Publications. We promise you it will NOT say Intimate Partner Abuse Screen.

For additional information concerning our privacy precauctions for you, please click here.

We will offer you downloadable Bonuses with an Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® ordered today, and you can choose to download these e-books and Special Reports or not. That will be your decision.

Why I Decided to Make the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® Available to You

I am a speaker and trainer on the subject of domestic abuse for healthcare providers. My keynotes and seminars are currently offered through a nonprofit organization that I formed. We are Partners in Prevention: Shining the Light on Relationship Violence. We help physicians and nurses nationwide to both recognize domestic abuse and develop clinical skills to effectively interface with patients who are victims of violence.

In speaking across the country, I learned that most people don’t know what battering is or the damage it can actually do. When I ask audiences the question “Would you know if you were in a dangerous relationship?”, consistently 90% of the people acknowledge they would not know if they were in a dangerous relationship. Each time I see this, I’m blown away. And then reminded that I, too, did not know.

With the privacy of the Internet, one can find answers to questions that they may not ask in other forums. You can learn about dangerous relationships and their relevance to you anonymously, without being ashamed or embarrassed by your inquiry.

My hope is to make this education easy, comfortable and affordable to anyone who longs to know...

“Am I in one.”

“Am I entangled in intimate partner violence?”

“Is this domestic abuse?”

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® will help you identify intimate partner violence even before you get hit. Your understanding of this dynamic could save you—your life, your children, your job, your savings and your home.

Get your Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® Now, and
you’ll also receive the following FREE Bonuses
($55.00 Value)

E-Book, entitled The Dangerous Myths & Shocking Truths about Domestic Abuse, which contains 30 pages of Powerful, Insightful Information on Intimate Partner Violence, including:

Why Couples Therapy Is Dangerous with Domestic Abuse Victims

How Emotional Abuse Maintains the Threat of Physical Abuse

Identifying Two Types of Batterers: Cobras and Pit Bulls

Why an Abused Partner Stays in an Abusive Relationship

What Keeps the Cycle of Intimate Partner Violence Going

How Intermittent, Positive Reinforcement Binds Abusive Relationships

How Learned Helplessness Maintains the Cycle of Violence

How the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Personality Sustains the Abuse Cycle

Themes Common to Family Violence and Judicial Abuse

12 Myths and Insightful Special Reports on the Facts about Domestic Abuse, for example:

Myth 1 Men who abuse their partners are uneducated, socially inept and outwardly aggressive. Learn the Facts...

Myth 2 Women often provoke men into battering them and deserve to be beaten. Learn the Facts...

Myth 3 Battered women could stop abusive behavior by changing their own behavior. Learn the Facts...

Myth 4 Alcohol and drug abuse cause abusive behavior. Learn the Facts...

Myth 5 Batterers cannot control their anger. Learn the Facts...

Myth 6 Women who stay in abusive relationships are crazy; they must enjoy being abused, otherwise they would leave. Learn the Facts...

...and many more facts & myths about intimate partner violence.

3 NEW Eye-Opener Special Reports on:

Domestic Abuse and Self-Esteem: Conditioned Disassociation

Abused intimate partners do come in all shapes and sizes, and most definitely there are some themes characterizing them. Some people will tell you low self-esteem is one of these characteristics. But what came first: the chicken or the egg? This Special Report sheds light on the relationship between domestic violence and self-esteem, and addresses how to overcome compromised self-esteem in, and after, an abusive relationship.

Emotional Abuse: It's Not About You

Some psychological emotional abuse is so subtle; it blind-sides you before you have identified it. And you remain overlooked, devalued and confused. This Special Report looks at psychological emotional abuse and tells you how to deal with it and what to do when confronted with its signs.

The Psychophysiological Illnesses of Domestic Abuse

Migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, essential hypertension, insomnia, chronic anxiety are just a few of the ongoing complaints of domestic abuse survivors. And it's not surprising! This Special Report shows you why domestic abuse survivors suffer from these conditions and suggests what they can do to heal these stress related disorders.

What is the Bottom line?
How much for this whole package of information and understanding?

I have some good news for you! Since there is no printing costs for the online Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® or for any of the downloadable e-book Bonuses, you can get the whole package for much less than it would cost if it was in hard copy AND you can have it immediately from this website. Your investment in this life-enhancing, and for some life-saving, information is now only $19.95!

You will get the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®, your Personal Interpretive Report and all of the downloadable Special Reports and Bonus e-Book detailing: the Common and Dangerous Myths, Facts, Statistics, Shocking Realities, Eye-opener Insights about Domestic Abuse, Family Violence and the Legal Abuse Syndrome—all for just $19.95

We are so confident that the information and insights you obtain from the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® and Bonuses will benefit and help you we offer a 100% money back guarantee.

Don’t wait a minute to order at this low price. The list price for the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® is $27. You can have your Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® now for only $19.95.

Also know we rotate the Free Bonuses that come with the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®. So if you have your eye on any of the Bonus E-Books or Special Reports, I’d grab the offer today. There is no guarantee it will be here tomorrow.

Obtain your Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®
and all of the downloadable FREE Bonuses from our easy secure server.

Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® plus Bonuses (Total Value $74.95)

$74.95

$19.95

Intimate Partner Violence Intimate Partner Abuse Screen

Click Here to Begin Your
Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® Now!

If you have the hunch or curiosity about partner/spousal abuse in your intimate relationship, you can’t afford not to have this information, nor can you afford to wait.

Whether your intention is to remain in your relationship or leave it, if there is something you can do now to protect your children and yourself, wouldn't you want to know that today? Wouldn't it be best to have this information now while you still have options.

For less than 10% of the cost of a therapy session, you will have all the insight, understanding and knowledge you need to answer your important questions, instantly! Even better…for only $19.95 you will have what many people spend $1500 or more to secure in an evaluation.

People ask me, why am I giving this away? The truth is I care about the issue, and I’ve dedicated my professional work to helping people recognize and stop domestic abuse.

May there be peace and well being for you and yours.

Kindest regards,

Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Psychologist, Author, Speaker

PS. As Tony Robbins says, “It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” Right now, if you don’t decide to take the first step towards understanding and clarity, then you are deciding to remain in the dark—uninformed for yourself and for someone near and dear, who may need you to be informed one day.

"Sending my sister to the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® gave us a way to talk about what she couldn't see before." C.M., California

PPS. As my brother shares, there is “a prayer for people who don’t know what they don’t know.” (If you need this prayer, see Douglas Adams’ Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide.)

PPPS. Remember 1 out of every 3 women will encounter domestic abuse. Know the signs before it spirals out of control. Your knowledge is your most powerful asset.

Obtain your Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® for Only $19.95
and all of the downloadable FREE Bonuses from our secure server.

Click Here to Begin Your
Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® Now!

The net profits from product sales on this website are donated to Partners in Prevention, a 501(c)3 public charity dedicated to helping individuals, families and healthcare professionals recognize and end domestic abuse.

End the hurt. Recognize emotional verbal abuse.

addthis_pub = 'drking';