Victimization and Manipulation -
3 Tips for Satisfying Your Needs
after the Abusive Relationship
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
We know that domestic abuse survivors endure the tremendous pressure of their controlling partners. And they become accustomed to manipulation as a means to fulfill oneís personal needs.
Itís no wonder that manipulation becomes a method of choice when it comes to meeting their own individual needs. But how satisfying will this be in the long-run?
Here are some guidelines for you to more effectively meet your personal needs in your relationships.
1) Clarify for yourself what you need for yourself and from others before asking. This will require that you know yourself from the inside out. And seek to secure what fulfills you over what you think others believe ought fulfill you.
2) Ask for what you want openly and directly, without justifications or misrepresentations. This will require that you honor your longings and enjoy the fact that you are entitled to have your needs met.
3) Be willing to have, and not have, your needs met and honor the boundaries of others as you would want them to honor yours. This is essential for your long-standing psychosocial health and well-being.
Recovering after an abusive relationship is more than removing the clutter of your battering partner. It also involves inner work that supports your personal self-sufficiency, and growing trust of and respect for others.
If you are a domestic abuse survivor, be mindful of the core issues of abusive relationships that you long to shed. And find ways within yourself to invite interpersonal honoring, respect and honesty. As you do, it will be yours.
For more information on healing after an abusive relationship, I invite you to check out Psychological Healing for Domestic Abuse, where you can also claim you free survivor success tips. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.
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©2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.