Legal Abuse - Does the System Not Work,
or Do You Not Know How to Work the System?

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Battered women and uninformed bystanders frequently say that the system doesn’t work. While it may not be perfect, it most certainly works. The real problem is most people don’t know how to work the system.

Domestic abuse survivors go to divorce court expecting it to remedy abuse. Well, that’s like going to your gynecologist when you have a tooth ache. Your OBGYN is not trained in, nor equipped to, treat problems with your teeth.

And in the same way the divorce court is not the legal venue for mitigating domestic abuse. Now I realize you may not like hearing me say this, but the fact is that divorce court is there to help you and your partner divide the assets and establish who does what with your children. It is not the legal forum to arrest abuse.

If you have abuse in your family, it may be addressed in the context of your divorce, but in many cases not to your liking—unless you know how to work the system. Your first education about the process you are in or approaching must be: learn how the system works.

When I hear people say, “The system doesn’t work,” I think to myself, this person doesn’t know how to work the system. Here are a few things you will want to do as you navigate the system.

1) Get your ducks in a row as soon as you find yourself in divorce court. And this means don’t sit back waiting for someone to do this for you. Be an active participant in managing your case.

2) Keep every slice of your court record in your possession. That’s right, you heard me. You must have every pleading, every court order, all evidential information, all transcripts, etc.

3) Take control and keep control of your mental health. Don’t sit around hoping that the court will see you as you know yourself to be. And never expect your opposition to paint a lovely, charming picture of who you are.

There are as many strategies to block your opposition’s ploys and create your own leveraging, as there are tactics they will try to use against you. Your job is to learn what these strategies are as quickly as possible. And if you don’t have the wherewithal to do this, hire a consultant to shorten your learning curve and give you the pointers that can save you in divorce court.

You must be the commander-in-chief to guide your ship into the harbor of your dreams. And if you need aid, don’t complain that you don’t know what to do or that the system doesn’t work. Go find a consulting expert who knows how to work the system and draw from their expertise. The sooner you do, the sooner you will get the system to work for you.

For information about abuse and divorce, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_abuse.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps domestic abuse survivors block legal-psychiatric abuse in divorce and custody cases nationwide. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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