Recognizing Emotional Abuse Signs
How to Distinguish Emotional Invasion
from Romantic Dance?

 

 

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Have you ever met someone and felt they were all over you before you stepped into the dance? How did you feel in that moment?

Have you been with someone who sought to smoother you with their advancing “we” before the feeling of “us” was established for you? How did that feel?

Have you ever encountered negative commentary regarding you and your character in reaction to your not being in step with this “prospective” partner (or shall I say “date”)? Need I ask how that felt?

Most importantly, are you aware that these behaviors in combination are some of the warning signs of an emotional abuser?

Spotting a Dangerous Relationship

Identifying a dangerous relationship is essential to staying safe in dating. Your ability to distinguish between the people who are candidates for a healthy relationship versus those who offer a toxic journey is key to taking care of yourself.

Unfortunately, many people do not know the subtle signs until the dynamics begin to solidify and they become entangled in a painful abusive relationship. Let’s take a closer look at the emotional abuse signs opening this article.

A Closer Look at Battering Dynamics

It’s the derogatory commentary about you as a person in response to your not offering up what was desired, awaited and expected. This single behavioral sign is a microcosm of an abuse dynamic.

The emotional abuser feels wounded by not getting what he (or she) wanted from you. Their experience of being rejected by you is internalized as a rejection of themselves. To ease the pain of their resulting injury and impotence, they step up and reach out to strike you, thereby empowering themselves.

Additionally they want you to feel responsible for their emotional assault onto you. They believe that had you not done as you did, they would not have to behave in this manner...they wouldn’t “have” to strike and put you in your place.

The Reality of Emotional Abuse

The subtleties of this exchange are the reality of emotional abuse. It can be fleeting, or seem out of the blue or even felt as inspired by you. Sometimes it is so confusing to people in these situations that it goes overlooked, and unfortunately dismissed over and over again.

If you have ever encountered these signs in dating, see them for what they are. And if they confuse you, simply turn inward and notice how you feel. The feelings you experience in relation to emotional abuse are undeniable. They will not lie to you. Trust your emotional signals from within, and let them guide you away from a toxic relationship and toward healthy romance while dating.

For more information about emotional abuse signs, visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/emotional_verbal_abuse.php and get instant access to free survivor success insights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide end and heal from domestic abuse.

© Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention