Healing the Pain of Losing Your Children to Legal Domestic Abuse:
7 Secrets to My Own Recovery

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

People facing the loss of a child to legal domestic abuse ask me, “How do you deal with the pain of that?” “How do you heal from the pain of that?” “How do you get over that?”

I say, you don’t really get over that; rather, you go on with it. Here are some of the things I did in my effort to thrive.

1) I wrote everyday...automatically, effortlessly about my experience of the past 15 years.

2) I exercised 3 times a week, either in the gym, at the pool or peak-to-valley hiking.

3) I ate whole nourishing food. Nourishing the body is key to aiding emotional psychological healing.

4) I did the inquiry, which you may have heard me write about, whenever something troubled me.

5) I meditated daily and my sitting practice became interwoven with my writing. This was something new that I discovered even after so many years of meditation practice.

6) I cultivated a network of close friends that became family, and they were an amazing source of support.

7) I vowed not to resort to mind altering or mood altering prescription or nonprescription substances to deal with my emotional, psychological injuries.

Bonus Surprise: I listened to mind and body altering music as therapy and as fun, and it opened me up to sounds and sensations...beyond words.

I maintained this routine for three years, the first half of which I spent in silence. Then one day, out of the blue, I received a voice message from my oldest son. Well I guess it wasn’t really out of the blue, as he turned 18. This inspired another chapter in my life and in our story.

How you heal is as personal as your healing. My wish for you is that you find your way to your inner healing and you embrace it. As you do, you too will heal the pain of the loss of your children to legal domestic abuse.

For information about healing from domestic abuse, see Domestic Abuse Healing from Within and Psychological Healing for Domestic Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people end and heal from family violence and legal domestic abuse.

Copyright 2009 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com All Rights Reserved.

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