Controlling Behavior – 6 Keys to
Avoid Gaslighting Psychological Abuse
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
“Gaslighting” is a term we’ve heard to refer to mind-messing. That is, telling someone something that is untrue to be true. And then dancing in, over and around it until confusion sets in for the listener and anyone else that is an earshot away.
It’s actually a form of mental and psychological abuse, because at its core is control. You see the gaslighter will keep the gaslighting game going until he/she wins. And winning is resurrecting your utter confusion and willingness to buy the fact that “the sky is indeed orange.”
Get it? I know you do, especially if you have ever been exposed to or participated in this form of mental, emotional, psychological abuse.
Here are some things you will want to do to avoid being victimized by gaslighting.
1) Keep your eyes and ears open wide when in the presence of gaslighting control freaks. Pay attention to details.
2) Cultivate an unwavering belief in your intuition. And when it speaks to you, listen with utmost respect.
3) Understand what the gaslighter’s true motive is in his/her exchange with you. It’s usually about simply getting you to see what you know to be true as to be untrue, or vice-versa.
4) Do not let the gaslighter think you bought his/her story, as this only gives permission for more psychological abuse of gaslighting.
5) As always, recognize, understand and trust the mental manipulations and distortions of reality are not about you.
6) Lastly and most significantly, know you do not have to “win” to be centered and find peace. A successful closure to a bout of gaslighting does not require that you convince the controlling person to accept your perspective.
If you follow these six keys to prevent being a victim of gaslighting, you can keep your head up and you will avoid being burned.
For more information about controlling relationships, see www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/controlling_relationship.php. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize and heal from abusive relationships. © Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
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Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.