Family Court Violence and
Crazy-Making Maneuvers

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

If I tell you that you are “crazy” and threaten to punish you because of what I have said, a part of you begins to question that maybe what I have alleged is true.

Crazy-Making from the Outside In

Then, if I tell someone in authority that you are “crazy” and consequently they set forth to create restrictions around your personal and civil liberties, then more of you questions...is this true?

Then, if all those around you begin to justify your losses and tragic circumstances by the “fact” that you are “crazy” because the court record says so, then even more of you questions...and part of you believes it to be so.

Then, you go around and try to convince others that what is alleged about you is not true and over time you inadvertently solidify what was once not true to be true. That is, you wear the “crazy hat.” Why? Because what you resist persists. And what you focus on expands!

Crazy-Making from the Inside Out

Now on a very, very, very deep level, you know you are not crazy, BUT your cognitive mind must reconcile the cognitive dissodance created by the gross disparity in your beliefs, emotions and actions resulting from the restrictions imposed.

So, how does one resolve cognitive dissodance—the state of tension caused by disharmony among one’s thoughts, emotions and actions? You bring all three elements into harmony by dismissing one element or changing one. And the one changed or dismissed is the one with the less convincing voice; that is, the voice overshadowed by the other voices.

For example, if you have lost your personal liberties or portions of your parental rights, this very loud action may overshadow your belief that you are sane. Now to keep the emotions of loss, longing and horrific grief in check, you embrace the challenge of bringing these two intense and grossly incompatible elements into harmony.

You can assume the belief system and you live a very defended life of protecting your craziness from social shame, until you wake up or don’t. Or you may implode with internal conflict, until it resolves itself or not.

Crazy-Making Conclusion and Remedy

This is how perpetrators make their victims crazy with the use of the system to torment and control their lives. I have seen this hundreds of times and each time I’m a witness to someone losing their sanity in this fashion, I’m in awe at the utter cruelty of what they bear.

If you are a victim of someone telling you that you are crazy and seeking to use these allegations to punish or discredit you, stop yourself in your tracks as you ask, is this so? Your job is to keep that inquiry going until that thought (I’m crazy) lets go of you.

For more information about "crazy making" as it relates to domestic violence survivors in divorce proceedings, I you encourage to read Crazy Making Legal-Psychiatric Abuse: Signs and Prevention. For insights on healing from domestic abuse at home or in court, read and reread Domestic Abuse Healing from Within. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize and end domestic abuse at home and in family court.

© Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.EndDomesticAbuse.org All Rights Reserved.

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