Emotional Abuse ~ Luring You
Away from Your Emotional Guidance
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Negative emotion is your guidance. However, many people live in relationships in which they are taught that their negative emotion is their defect and, of course, an obstacle to their partner’s well-being. Sound familiar?
It may start with a simple statement of longing that declares a desire and assigns you as the interference to that desire. Then, once established, you are on a course to prove that you and your experience do not get in the way of the realization of the desires your determined partner seeks.
We Are in This Together
One could be on this course for years, and in many cases decades, yielding to the domination of their life partner just to keep their own negative emotion in check. What happens over the course of time is that we lose touch with the value served by our emotions…(both positive and negative).
Instead of being true guidance, your emotions soon become your own obstacle to shared well-being. I’m trusting you see the inevitable downward spiral of this path.
In order for you to be comfortable in the context of your partner embracing a desire that you oppose, you have two choices: ignore your negative emotion or deal with the consequences of your experience being the deterrent to your partner’s well-being.
In either case, there is only one word describing this unsatisfying situation: disempowered.
Keeping Me in We
Many people in abusive relationships seek help when they realize that they can no longer thrive, much less survive, from that place of disempowerment. There may be symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, chronic pain, eating disorders, substance abuse... and the list goes on. Their personal disempowerment is often at the root of their distress.
In the course of therapy, people often grasp that knowing. They come to see what contributes to their impotency and what supports their authentic empowerment.
They come to recognize the value of their negative emotions as guidance to be heard and respected. These patients grow to know the distress of their own disempowerment for what it is...over what their partner seeks them to believe it to be.
If you are in an intimate relationship in which you are chronically guided to ignore your natural internal emotional guidance, be mindful of your part in sustaining these dynamics. Know that the freedom of your empowerment is in your listening to and respecting your emotions.For more information on recognizing and interrupting abusive dynamics in intimate relationships, domestic abuse, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ebooks.php and claim Free Instant Access to The 7 Realities of Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.
© Dr Jeanne King - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.