Domestic Violence Survivor Counseling:
When Therapy Works

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Psychotherapy is effective to the extent that the therapist brings unbiased, undivided attention to the interaction. However, domestic violence survivors frequently report having experienced therapy that was “loaded” with bias, judgments and preconceptions.

I’ve even heard patients talk about how the therapist arrived at a diagnosis talking to the person individually on only one occasion. Or, the therapist made recommendations for couple’s “homework” from the assumption that the marital conflict was something that could be “fixed” by the abused.

It’s no wonder that domestic violence survivors have a bad taste in their mouth (or shall we say in their memories) about therapy. Many have had their fair share of inadequate service and in many cases interventions that pose greater risk to their well-being.

If you are a domestic violence survivor in need of psychological services, but are gun-shy because of a former bad experience in therapy, read on. The following points will help you pick a therapist that inspires therapeutic process.

Elements of Effective Psychotherapy

1. Therapy is not about blame; it’s about discovery, ownership and responsibility.
2. Therapy is not about judgment; it’s about being as is…acceptance of what is.
3. Therapy is not about external expectations; it’s about process that evolves from within.

Your interaction will be therapeutic to the extent that you are looking at yourself without the bias, precepts and expectations of the therapist. That is, the therapy must be about you, not about your therapist.

Bottom line: Don’t run from therapy when you need it most. For information about domestic violence survivor healing, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/psychological_healing.php and see Psychological Healing for Domestic Abuse and Domestic Abuse Healing from Within. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2009, Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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