Healing from Domestic Abuse
How to Get Rid of Disturbing Thoughts
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
“How do you stop thinking about something that is bothering you?” Now even tough this question came from one of our domestic abuse survivor readers, be it known that this is a question for anyone who is a part of the human race.
You Control Your Thoughts
You feed what is nourishing you until there is nothing left to support that which is bothering you. That is, you starve the life out of it simply by deciding to pursue that which takes you where you enjoy being.
There is no strain in this intentional focus of your attention; rather there is a commitment to experience what nourishes you. And in so doing, your absence of attention to what bothers you eliminates it from your focus…and from your orbit.
Suffice it to say, mental chatter expands and diminishes by virtue of your attention and intention. Now this in no way means that you want to put your head in the sand as a way of avoiding dealing with people, things and situations that are disturbing.
Inquiry and Disturbing Thoughts
If something persistently bothers you that then could be your signal to put the thoughts you have about it to inquiry. It would mean that you are attaching to something that is not actually true for you. Your inquiry can reveal this; such that it (the disturbing and untrue thought) lets go of you...freeing you to be with something else that is as true or even truer for you.
By “inquiry” I am referring to the simple questions put forth in The Work of Byron Katie. Is it true? Can you really know that is true? How do you react when you think that thought? Who/how would you be if you didn’t think that thought? And of course, then turn the thought around… It is a very effective and efficient way of cutting through cognitive baggage, ultimately revealing deeper truths.
The Sacred Silence Between Your Thoughts
Another extremely effective way of letting go of disturbing thoughts is to awaken to the silent space between your thoughts. When you bask in that silence, a shift happens opening you to more closely alien with inner strength that puts all thought into perspective.
You can cultivate this skill through meditation or a presence practice. Over time you will notice that you embody an inner control with respect to your psychological and emotional well-being.
For more information on healing from domestic abuse visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/healing_from_within.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. © Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and InterventionThis series of eInsights is presented to you by Partners in Prevention, a nonprofit organization. If you find this eInsight article useful, we invite you to contribute to the maintenance and growth of the Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. To make a tax-deductible donation, please visit www.EndDomesticAbuse.org
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.