Custody Evaluation – 3 Keys to
Preparing for Your Custody Evaluation

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

A common question battered women have when preparing for their custody evaluations is how to be with the custody evaluator.

On the one hand, they long to be natural. They want to tell the evaluator everything that led to their being where they are now. They want to make sure he/she knows about all the abuse they endured and about the trauma to their children.

And in the telling of all of this, they become that battered person. As they let their hair down, they show their vulnerabilities, their insecurities and the weaknesses that kept them in an abusive relationship.

This compromised persona is further compounded by the horrific fear plaguing these women. They are taunted with threats of losing custody of, and in some cases contact with, their children.

If you are this woman or know someone in her position, here are some tips to help you with the custody evaluator.

1) Be yourself, rather than what you think you “should” be.

2) Remember this evaluation is about you, not about your soon-to-be ex. So share what you think is essential about him, but keep a balanced perspective.

3) If you catch yourself being the fearful litigant, shift your focus to being the loving mom. Your natural feelings for your children are your strong suit. Keep it on.

You are in the fight of your life and it is natural that this evaluation is the test of your life. If you want to ace this test, you must remember not to surrender yourself over to the evaluator. If my words are not crystal clear to you, seek to find a coach (outside of the legal circle) to help you prepare for the trial of your life.

For more information about spousal legal abuse, visit http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/legal_domestic_abuse.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps domestic abuse survivors block legal-psychiatric abuse in divorce and custody cases nationwide. Copyright 2009, Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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