Domestic Violence Awareness:
What Every Battered Woman Wishes She Knew When She Was a Young College Woman

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

The College World Reporter Donell Edwards interviews domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. to help educate young college women about domestic violence.

1) DONELL EDWARDS: In recent weeks, the alleged attack of popular recording artist Rihanna, by her boyfriend and fellow recording artist Chris Brown, has focused attention on domestic violence. Many of our readers are college students and young adults. Please explain for them the magnitude of this problem, in regard to how widespread it is.

Dr. Jeanne King: One out of every three women will be assaulted by an intimate partner in her lifetime. Domestic abuse knows no barriers. Battered women are black, white, yellow, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, professional, unemployed. They represent all walks of life.

2) DONELL EDWARDS: Based on clinical studies, empirical data, and other research, what are the causes of domestic abuse, and for the sake of this interview, we are speaking specifically about men physically abusing women? Is it the result of the abuser being abused as a child? Is it the result of some mental disorder? Just what are the known causes?

Dr. Jeanne King: Causes are a mystery, or shall I say a topic of diverse theories. Some experts claim that battering is learned behavior; others will tell you it is a function of one’s personality and predisposition. Then, there are those who look to biochemical factors in the brain that are associated with aggression. Most evidence, however, supports that battering is learned.

3) DONELL EDWARDS: For our young female readers in particular, as well as all of our female readers, are there indicators or red flags to look for at the very beginning, when considering having a relationship with a man? For someone who does not possess the professional knowledge, are there certain personality types or personality traits or other characteristics, that an ordinary person would be able to identify that may signal trouble ahead, and what are they?

Dr. Jeanne King: Yes, most definitely! There are numerous red flags that are clear warning signs of an abusive relationship. These signs are: controlling, manipulative behavior; excessive jealousy, possessiveness; lack of empathy; tendency to externalize blame and isolate one’s partner from all sources of support beyond the relationship. Knowing whether one’s relationship actually fulfills the criteria for intimate partner abuse can be established instantly, privately and accurately with the online Intimate Partner Abuse Screen.

4) DONELL EDWARDS: In addition to what we have previously discussed, what are your recommendations for our readers in regard to what they can and should do to avoid getting into an abusive relationship in the first place. Is there some step-by-step, easy to use guide that is effective?

Dr. Jeanne King: Prevention is the cure for domestic violence and education is prevention. So our recommendation is: know this syndrome before you become a part of it. As once you do, it is far more difficult to “see the forest for the trees.”

5) DONELL EDWARDS: In some cases, the victim goes back to the abuser over-and-over again. It is reported that Rihanna and Chris Brown have reunited. Why is it that the victim in many cases will return to the abuser, with the knowledge that the physical abuse will most likely continue? Do they feel in some way responsible for the physical abuse, do they blame themselves, or just why is it that they keep going back and are willing to remain in an abusive relationship indefinitely?

Dr. Jeanne King: It is estimated that battered women will return to their abusers seven times before finally ending the abusive relationship. The back and forth is more common than not. As to why does she return, it could be any combination of things: from lack of real or anticipated resources...to unrealistic hopes, dreams, personal expectations, perceived love...to a very realistic fear that things (the danger) will escalate upon her departure.

6) DONELL EDWARDS: Would you explain in detail, what the many consequences of staying in an abusive relationship are?

Dr. Jeanne King: The most serious is you could lose your life, your health and most defiantly your well-being, your sense of personal esteem, your liberties... It is a very self-destructive spiral that goes in one direction: It gets worse over time.

7) DONELL EDWARDS: If a young lady finds herself in an abusive relationship, please explain the steps that she should take to protect herself, and get out of the relationship safely.

Dr. Jeanne King: It is always best to consult with an expert in this area before taking action, as they will advise you of proper safety measures to take to prepare for and execute a safe departure. They will know of the specifics to be mindful of in light of one’s particular situation. In general though, leaving an abusive relationship is best done quickly, quietly and as completely as possible.

8) DONELL EDWARDS: What can those who are aware of the abuse do? Are we doing enough when we are aware of someone being physically abused, and if not, why? And how can we overcome any trepidation that we may feel, or feelings of indifference and not wanting to get involved?

Dr. Jeanne King: There is much one can do if you suspect your friend or loved one is in an abusive relationship. First and foremost, one must suspend judgment in their dealings with the domestic abuse survivor. Secondly, help them see the subtle signs of abuse, not just the gross and more obvious, because acknowledging the subtle is very significant in recognizing and owning one’s predicament. Most importantly, help them find their inner voice. And if you are not skilled at that, get them to a professional who is skilled in therapeutic communications and domestic abuse intervention.

9) DONELL EDWARDS: Where can those who are experiencing abuse, especially young women on college campuses, find help through hotlines, online sources, on their college campus, and organizations?

Dr. Jeanne King: Most communities have domestic violence agencies that serve the public and many colleges have trained individuals who can assist survivors. There are national hotlines, 211 service, and websites, forums and blogs on the internet. We offer seven domestic abuse resource eBooks on identifying emotional verbal abuse, the dynamics of abusive relationships, breaking the cycle, psychological healing, mind-body mending, legal social politics and how to help others break the cycle of abuse.

For more information on domestic abuse prevention and intervention, visit www.EndDomesticAbuse.org and claim your free Survivor Tips and eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic violence.

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© 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention