Abusive Adult Children
When You Are Abused By Your Adult Child
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Domestic violence comes in all shapes and sizes. It can be from those you sleep with...to those you nursed in their young...to those who gave you life itself. We see it all, and the dynamics are the same whether parent, child or spouse.
Some of the most painful cases are those that involve an abused parent and battering adult child. These parents come to us at their wits end.
They love the children they gave life to more than life itself. In many cases, they have gone out on a limb so far that they themselves remain dangling from its flimsy end.
The Abusive Adult Child
These adult children can be as witched as the abusive parent that controlled them in their young. Only difference is that they act out their battering adolescent-style. That is with an air of immaturity that confuses the parents they abuse.
They indulge in name-calling, emotional manipulation, psychological gas-lighting and physical altercations that shake abused parents awake.
These children steal from their parents, trash their homes, walk all over them as though their lives don’t matter. Many of these abusive adult kids seek funding from the parents they abuse. And when financial resources are not forthcoming, an excuse is created for further abuse.
Deepening the Abuse Dynamics
As the abuse dynamics sustain themselves, the ploys grow into more sophisticated abuse maneuvers. They can engage in the exact same ploys as the controlling (and in most cases alienating) parent that reared/reigned them in their earlier years.
They will get even when they do not get what they want and demand. And this even-getting maneuver can be as vicious as the out-of-control abuse of the ex in divorce court.
It can involve slandering the abused parent in an effort to alienate them from their other children...just as the abusive parent alienated them from the parent they abuse. Or, you might see a complete estrangement from their natural grandchildren. And in extreme cases, abused parents have not even met their grandchildren.
As you can see, the cycle of family abuse continues generation-to-generation colored by the drama of the individual’s life. What remains continuous in this repeating fabric is the constellation of symptoms that characterize domestic violence.
Domestic Abuse Defined
Domestic violence abuse, while elusive to many people, is clear when you know the enigma by its distinct symptoms. These following characteristics in combination describe domestic abuse generation-to-generation.
1) Controlling behavior
2) Lack of empathy toward other with an expectation of empathy for self
3) An air of entitlement and expectation of service
4) Battering (verbal, emotional, physical) used to establish and maintain an unequal distribution of power in the relationship
If you are entangled in an abusive relationship with your adult child, take a serious and in-depth look at the defining dynamics of domestic abuse before this dangerous cycle spirals out of control.To learn more about abusive relationships visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ebooks.php and claim Free Instant Access to The 7 Realities of Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals and couples worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.
© Dr Jeanne King — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.