Ending Domestic Abuse
3 Keys to Healing Relationship Emotional Abuse
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Lifting oppression, removing indecision and preventing violation are the keys to healing from emotional abuse and domestic violence. Sounds simple yet be mindful, it is quite profound.
Oppression is that experience of quashing the life right out of you, all while being subjected to another exerting the will of their life—upon you—over yours. It is at the core of all abusive relationships. It’s the very dynamic that defines relationship abuse.
Whether we are talking about intimate partners, parent child, siblings, caretaker patient, employer employee, the dynamics of emotionally abusive relationships are exactly the same. What distinguishes these abusive relationships from each other is the circumstances around the relationship and the glue that binds the people’s commitments to one another.
When your oppression lifts and you are no longer yielding to it, the natural YOU emerges. And in the energy of being that, there is eternal life and infinite presence and passion.
People in controlling relationships spend much of their time on a teeter-totter vacillating between submitting to being controlled and releasing another person’s control over them.
You wake up one day and decide that life will be easier if you simply do not rock the boat, but instead acquiesce to living with your partner as it is. You pick your battles and walk away from those that amount to nothing in the bigger picture. And for many couples in emotionally abusive relationships, this represents the larger proportion of fights.
On the other hand, the decision you make could be to no longer engage and that, too, interrupts the cycle of domestic abuse. Or, it could be that you decide to remain in the relationship and require the use of a new set of tools and strategies to interact non-violently. These decisions also yield a commitment to a course of action that has purpose, direction and clear intention.
With that personal focus, you avail yourself to all of the energy previously polarized. Suddenly, more of YOU is available to campaign your cause. Your intentions create a direct path to experience that which you desire.
Preventing Physical, Verbal and Emotional Violation
Often times all it takes is to find within you the “permission statements” that allow and do not allow violation. When you are clear that you own your temple and it does not function properly in and under abuse, you unleash domestic abuse prevention from within.
Now, I don’t mean to sound Polly Anna here. Remember I, too, have known domestic abuse. And I know you don’t control your partner’s battering toward you. But you do control your consent to being controlled, and you can prevent violation and heal from emotional abuse.
For more information on breaking the cycle of abuse in your relationship, visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/spousal_abuse_tx.php . Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals and couples end and heal from domestic abuse.
© Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.