Change for Those in an Abusive Relationship:
The 2 Keys That Inspire Psychotherapeutic Change

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

As a psychologist, I’m intrigued by what inspires change. Is it the therapist? Is it the therapeutic process? Is it the person in pain?

Or, is it some combination of the above? My sense is, it’s the latter. It is some combination of the above.

Looking more closely at therapeutic process, you can see the core elements that trigger intra-psychic shifts resulting in positive outcome in psychotherapy. Knowing this will give you insight into making your therapy more productive.

In a nutshell, here they are:

1) “Inner felt datum” is present and overshadows all other bits of relevant information.

There is nothing more meaningful to an individual than a voice from within. Think about it. Each time you made an important life decision...one that was right for you, where did you get that information?

Be honest with yourself. And now ask, how was that information brought forth? How did it come to you?

2) ...And then, there is the fact that the day comes when the desire to remain the same is more painful than the risk to grow.

People know their own limits. And when the other messages and influences are kept at bay, the information that guides one and gives direction emerges.

Secondly, the natural tendency is to move toward greater harmony, heath and well-being. One is truly charmed by it. It’s part of the human condition. Thus, all factors being equal, one can expect to gravitate toward what’s right for them. Therapeutic change occurs and positive outcome in psychotherapy ensues.

If you are in psychotherapy, seek to make the process therapeutically productive. It’s not about what the therapist thinks, believes, desires, feels. To the contrary, it’s all about you!

For information about effective psychotherapeutic process and helping someone in an abusive relationship, see Stop Domestic Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.