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Intimate Partner Abuse Screen




Staying in Abusive Relationships - The Key to Giving Oneself Permission to Leave an Abusive Relationship

domestic violence consulting expert


By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.


You may have asked the question: Why does she stay? Or why does he put up with that? And you may be familiar with the laundry list of inner and outer reasons why people in abusive relationships stay.


There are a few “tipping-point” factors to this decision. Seeing other options is the number one key to leaving an abusive relationship in the moment that leaving is ever so right. But very few domestic violence survivors have this in place when they need it most.


How can we help those entangled in an abusive relationship to create these “other” options well before they need to exercise them?


In working with families, in which daughters (or sons) are entangled in domestic abuse, I have noticed that when the family provides an alternative that is acceptable to their adult child, this alternative option is more likely to be taken advantage of...and used as a safety net in time of need.


However, what families more often want is to provide alternatives that are acceptable —and desirable—to them. And as this is done, they struggle with not understanding why their abused adult child chooses the abusive relationship over their “other” option.


If you have a son or daughter in an abusive relationship, find an option that she/he would be willing to exercise when the next boiling point occurs. In doing so, you will have given your son or daughter a path to safety and a means for ending an abusive relationship before it spirals out of control.

For a deeper understanding of what keeps abusive relationships in tack and what breaks the cycle of abuse, visit and claim your free Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals, families and healthcare professionals recognize, end and heal domestic abuse. 

If you want personal help with your particular circumstances, you can contact us to set up an individual consultation.

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©Copyright 2008 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.