Abused Men – When Women Batter Men,
What Do Men Do?

Dr. King

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Many women say they where glad when their partners hit them, because in that moment the light went “on” and they knew exactly what they were dealing with: domestic abuse, intimate partner violence.

But for abused men, the physical abuse doesn’t always turn the light “on.” More often it sends them spinning into further confusion over their ranting, raving violent partner.

What Abused Men Don’t Do, When Battered by Their Female Partners

So, what do they do? It’s not likely that they would call the police. For goodness sake, in most instances these men are bigger and stronger than their battering partners.

Pick up the phone and call a domestic violence hotline. Also not likely, partly because if they do exist, they are not mainstream. And secondly, men are socialized to deal with personal conflict with means other than a telephone hotline service.

Call a friend. Also, less likely to be done compared to women. The shame factor associated with being battered is huge, and when it’s a woman battering you, it carries a stigma entrenched with more than partner victimization.

What Abused Men Do, When Battered by Their Female Partners

So, what do they do? They go to the Internet and privately google “verbal and physical abuse” or some related term in a quest to understand what’s up with their out-of-control, overly controlling partner.

From here these battered men may learn that 37% of domestic abuse victims each year are men. If you are a man in a relationship with a woman who is emotionally, verbally or physically abusive toward you, seek to understand the dynamics of abusive relationships.

For information about domestic abuse dynamics and healing for domestic abuse, see domestic abuse resources for men and women. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps both men and women recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

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©2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.EndDomesticAbuse.org

Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.