When Parents Control - 3 Keys to
Breaking Free from Parental Control

Dr. King

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And Iím sure you know why.

But help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women.

If they havenít risen above their controlling parentís domination, they can become entrapped victims for life. They remain dependent and often spend their lives seeking out ways to work out their unfinished business around being controlled.

How can you awaken to the toxicity of being controlled by oneís parent? The same way one awakens to the toxicity of being controlled by an intimate partner.

1) Be mindful of the subtle.
The subtle is as significant as the gross. The subtle manipulations are as revealing as the exaggerated obvious ones. And since they show up on an ongoing basis, one doesnít compartmentalize their devastating effect. They are in your face 24/7 or as long as you expose yourself to the controlling parent.

2) Suspend judgment of yourself (and of them).
Recognize that the parental control is NOT about you. The parental control is about them. Find a way to hold and regard yourself beyond the parental control. And find a way to see and regard your controlling parent beyond their control and beyond their controlling behavior.

3) Find that inner voice that knows your highest good.
When you hear from the inner voice of your utmost longing, you will find your way. You will discover your highest good. Your will become the person you are meant to be, beyond your controlling parentís domination.

If you are an adult child of a controlling parent and you struggle over control issues with your controlling parent, seek to find ways to understand the dynamics of controlling relationships: Domestic Abuse Dynamics: Identifying Abuse. The sooner you do, the easier it will be for you to break free from the debilitating effects of being controlled. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

This series of eInsights is presented to you by Partners in Prevention, a nonprofit organization. If you find this eInsight article useful, we invite you to contribute to the maintenance and growth of the Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. To make a tax-deductible donation, please visit www.EndDomesticAbuse.org

© Copyright 2009 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com

Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.