Politics of Narcissistic Sexual Assault
Sexual Activity Obtained Without Consent

 

 

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

 

Sexual assault and narcissism have become everyday words in politics today. What’s brought to light in vivid behavioral terms through the 2016 presidential election and the 2016 Oscars Academy is the issue of “consent.” Many people outside of sexual assault circles believe this is a cloudy issue lost in women’s stories and rarely taken seriously.

Consent

Let’s drill down to the behavioral reality of consent. It’s not a function of what state you reside. It’s not a function of whether or not you are married to your sexual partner. It’s not even a function of whether you are in a monogamous relationship.

It’s all about BOTH people wanting or not wanting sexual activity. If both people want it, you have consent. If both people don’t want it, there is no consent. Period.

The following excerpt was initially inspired by vice president Joe Biden’s compelling appreciation for the actual meaning of consent, illustrated during the 2016 Oscar’s Academy acknowledgment of sexual assault survivors. Biden notes that consent can’t be given by a person unable to give consent (i.e. a child, an intoxicated person, an unconscious person). And to this list, sexual assault advocates add a person disempowered through narcissistic abuse.

This brief vignette highlights that consent is not submission obtained through unrelenting pressure and coercive control. It is not something brow beaten out of someone. It is never something obtained from a person having said no, whether awake or asleep.

Sex Without Consent: To Rest or To Rape

Jim comes home from a political business trip proud as a new father immediately after delivery. And Megan is there to receive him in all his excitement. She is open to his needs, all while he engages in an endearing near four hours of “show and tell.”

The midnight hour approaches and they retreat into bed where Megan seeks to pass out and Jim wants to play. Megan’s fatigue is over the top as she, too, had a long week of her own, in addition to keeping up with the events of Jim’s travel. All she wants is sleep to restore balance from the weariness within.

Jim, on the other hand, remains charged with excitement from his journey. This energy is coupled with some pride that fuels his sense of entitlement, which works its way into the bedroom. He gestures for sex, in no uncertain terms, and she clearly lets him know of her excessive fatigue.

In a back and forth, Megan cries desperately begging to simply sleep without having sex. In a huff, Jim rolls over... but it is not over. Their problem encounter has only begun.

Megan pleads with Jim to rest...repeatedly again and again bargaining for sleep. And in a quiet moment—as she sinks into the depths of slumber—he becomes aroused and reaches over her…tossing her flat on her back, he lunges forth on top of her. Megan's resistance falls on deaf ears, and away he goes as though he is the only one in the room having sex. Her presence is there to accommodate, from his point of view.

Obtaining sexual activity without consent is sexual assault. Whether it is an inappropriate grab out of nowhere or coerced surrender, consent is NOT obtained. And sex without consent is sexual abuse no matter what your profession, no matter what political platform you profess and no matter how much money your pocket book holds.

For more information on sexual abuse dynamics, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/controlling_relationship.php and claim Free Instant Access to The 7 Realities of Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

*King, PhD, Jeanne, Survivor Success Tips and eInsights, Vol 512 February 2016 “Intimate Controlling Relationships: Is It Lovemaking, Accommodation Sex or Is It Rape?”

© Dr Jeanne King — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention