Controlling People - How to Deal with Someone
Who Always Tells You That You’re Wrong
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
How do you deal with someone who is verbally abusive and tells you that you are always wrong? This is a good question and a concern shared by many men and women.
Have you ever noticed that some people will always come out “right” no matter what the exchange is regarding? And in order for them to hold this position, you are assigned the position of being “wrong” irrespective of actual facts.
Now it happens that these folks who always need to be right are merely seeking control. When you look closely at the disputes you have with them, you notice that the details are only meaningful so as to establish positioning. Yet, as facts in and of themselves, the argumentative specifics don’t mean a whole heck of a lot.
Here are some things you can do when dealing with someone who insists that you are always “wrong.”
1) See the dispute for what it is. In many cases, you will notice the underlying issue of control dominating the interaction. So, pull the right-wrong battle out of the equation and accept that your interpersonal exchange is all about someone seeking control.
2) Realize that what you resist persists. The more you fight against your opposition, the deeper his/her heels embed into the ground. And with this fueling of their mission to “win,” you gravitate further and further from the “real” issues.
3) Remember the historical proverb: “Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it, can’t be conquered by it.” At some point, you will serve yourself best by taking your reason weapon and putting it to rest. For the day will come when your using your reason will indeed shine the light.
Until then know when someone MUST make you wrong, they are merely making themselves right. And fortunately for you, it’s not about you.
For more insights about controlling relationships, see www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/identify_domestic_abuse.php. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
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Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.