Parental Alienation – How to Deal
With The Love Without Borders
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
“Parental alienation” is a highly political term with mixed meanings for many folks. If you are on the accused side of parental alienation, as are many battered mothers, you know the pain of these words. These two words may have served as the sword severing you from your abused children.
If you are an identified or an unidentified battered man, you too know the pain of these words from the other side of this vicious blade. Parental alienation could be the outcome of your abusive ex-wife’s efforts to alienate you from your minor children.
If you are an adult child victimized by the use of parental alienation by one parent against your other parent, then you too know the pain of your loss of contact with part of yourself.
Parental Alienation Poison
This article is primarily about this wicked term and the pain it creates for all those coming into contact with it. Whether it was used as a sword or as a shield, it has most likely cut deep into your heart and left a wound wider than imaginable.
There is no greater injury than that of being cut off from your own flesh and blood. It’s a pain without boarders.
The concept of parental alienation was first introduced by Richard Gardner, Ph.D. to assist abusive fathers in obtaining child custody. Suffice it to say, its definition speaks for itself...that being the alienation of a parent from his/her child (and vice versa).
Parental Alienation Reality
If you are feeling the horrific pain of parental alienation, know one very important fact. It was never about you, anyway. Putting this into perspective can save you from the effects of parental alienation.
Now you might be wondering how do I do that? Key answer is by connecting with the wholeness within you and trusting in the wholeness within your alienated loved one.
You see in the final analysis, nothing really changes as you will always be your children’s parent (mother or father) and they will always be your flesh and blood. And through this primal connection, a love endures whether expressed or withheld.
I remember my own dealings with the effects of parental alienation. I knew it to be a social disease more toxic than any physical ailment. The experience of it changes you on every level of your being...mentally, emotionally, physically and socially.
If you are struggling with the experience and effects of parental alienation, seek support and grow to see the dynamics before you. For this understanding will serve as the platform to heal yourself and your relationship with your estranged children (or parent) in years to come.
For ongoing support with healing parental alienation, visit www.domesticabusesupport.com and get answers to your own questions and personal concerns. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals nationwide end and heal from domestic abuse. © Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.