Parental Alienation and
Domestic Violence by Proxy
How Estranged Parents Heal

 

 

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

I recently made a post on our Facebook page about making a child feel that it is not safe to love both parents equally. It is so clear that this creates psychological damage that destroys the child from the inside out.

What amazed me about this post was how many people know this assault on their own children and live the consequences of its effect. We heard from people publicly and privately by message and email, again and again long after the post.

In other writings, I have addressed how to help your child affected by domestic violence by proxy and parental alienation. In this article, I seek to help parents suffering from this horrific psychosocial crime.

See Them as Whole

In your children’s absence see them as whole. Literally visualize them as being complete onto themselves. Trust in their ability to become fully realized. Know their potential for a satisfying and successful life.

Be More Than the Broken Piece

Even though you know that their being punished for holding you in their heart has left scars on their relationship with you...don’t end the relationship with that. Reach back to the place in you wherein your connection to them is whole, full and rich.

Nourish your memories and thoughts with this feeling of wellness within your parent-child connection from as far back as you can remember. You know what I mean when I refer to those moments untainted with the tragedy of parental polarization.

Recognize the YOU Beyond Their Brainwashing

Know you are not their thoughts about you. Many of the confused memories that they hold are theirs to sort though. These projections do not define you.

When you recognize that you are being seen through the lens of parental alienation and domestic violence by proxy, you can release the negativity held in the film. And then you step into the essence of who you really are...

Domestic violence by proxy and parental alienation are no different that any other cancer in life. They are terms used to define a horrific crime to a growing child and to the parent-child relationship. Sadly these are the effects all while the intent is to exert control and/or inflict injury to the estranged parent.

See this disorder for what it is as you would any other disorder. Know it has a life of its own and it is not a manifestation of you or your relationship with your child.

For more information on healing the injuries of domestic abuse, visit www.enddomesticabuse.org/psychological_healing.php and http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/healing_from_within.php . Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide end and heal from domestic abuse.

© Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention