Mother Child Custody - Beware
of the Seduction of the Noncustodial Parent
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Battered mothers think the attorney they meet after their children are removed from their custody is their savior. But, he can be the biggest rapist on their path.
When you go from the frying pan to the fire, as battered noncustodial mothers do, you think anyone in the system that talks nice to you is there to help. Beware, because that’s not so.
More likely than not, your vulnerability, your pain and your desperation are the invitations for attorney seduction of the highest order.
Legitimizing Your Violation
It all begins so innocently with you longing for comfort and clarity. All you want to know is how the hell this has happened to you. So, you seek the advice of counsel outside of the legal circle that ran you right out of your child’s life.
You ask this so-called legal mind to help you understand how they got away with pushing you out of your kid's orbit. How is it that you held the order of protection and now you have supervised visitation...or, even worse, no visitation at all?
Counsel listens attentively, craftily positioning to lure you in. With “been there” understanding, he knows exactly how you got where you are. And he portrays his seeing the bigger picture of how you were swallowed up by the system.
He is the first person you have met that doesn’t look at you scratching his head as you share the nightmare of your being the noncustodial parent. He doesn’t ask if you are a drug addict, crazy woman or a criminal. He doesn’t have to because he knows chances are that you are a victim of domestic violence divorce.
For the first time, you don’t feel judged. You feel understood for being in the boat you are in. And from here, you are his. Brace yourself for your next round...the rape of the noncustodial parent.
Consummating the Seduction of the Noncustodial Parent
In the rapture of the empathy you have so longed comes a pseudo sexual overture that both you and he know, even though you don’t acknowledge it as so. He may tell you, the only thing wrong with you is that you have a nice smile or winner’s legs or whatever...use your imagination.
The important thing here is that he cleverly inserts exactly what you need with exquisite timing. So, not only are you heard, you are valued…and now you have a partner to usher you out of your nightmare. Brace yourself; this counsel is rearing to take you for the ride of your life.
For insights on legal ploys and child custody, visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/crazy_making.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from legal and domestic abuse. © Jeanne King, Ph.D. Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.