Healing Parental Alienation
The Mother-Adult Child Reunion
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
What happens to the battered mother-abused child relationship once the children outgrow “legalized control?” Can you overcome the parental alienation?
These questions come across my desk by readers and from the hearts of patients globally. My answer is that the core mother-child relationship will always be there even if it is tainted with pain, propaganda and confusion.
Mother’s Remnants of the Abusive Relationship
In her words…
“If you throw darts at me and bruise me in every way, shape and form—from assaulting my character to robbing me of my natural civil rights—then there are consequences. What remains is for me to deal with…within myself and with my children.
It may mean that I feel the scars from the wounds inflicted whenever I see or feel you through our children. It may mean that I remain committed to never allowing you entry into my life. But it does not mean that I am your victim.
To the contrary, you are the puppet of your own making, and you no longer hold my strings. I hold my strings. I am the embodiment of all that I have lived and the universe from which I am.”
When you own that, my friend, you are free from the abusive relationship that you have endured. But how will your children see you? …And will your relationship with them survive the parental alienation?
Adult Child’s Remnants of Abusive Relationships
Chances are they will carry the mother-child bond that you have with them until the day that they die. It is part of who they are, as our experience is part of us.
They may feel you from that space and intermix their perception from the mental airbrushing that has been their life in your absence. Their challenge is to reconcile that ambiguity. Most important is that it’s
Be mindful that, when you interact with your adult child after the parental alienation, you are still their mother. And the relationship you create is what you long for it to be. As you hold that and groom it as such, it takes a life of its own for you and your adult child to hold
For information about healing parental alienation, see www.preventabusiverelationships.com/psychological_healing.php and http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/healing_from_within.php, and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and InterventionThis series of eInsights is presented to you by Partners in Prevention, a nonprofit organization. If you find this eInsight article useful, we invite you to contribute to the maintenance and growth of the Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. To make a tax-deductible donation, please visit www.EndDomesticAbuse.org
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.