Abuse and Divorce –
The Promises of Divorce Lawyers
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
“I’m going to file for divorce,” she exclaimed, as though this was going to put an end to an abusive relationship. Ultimately, it may very well have this effect. But, a chapter of battling the bully and dueling with a deceptive beast waits in her most immediate future.
The Promises of Divorce Attorneys
She notes that she found an attorney who says that he’ll get her alimony and get her husband out of the house, now. However, the husband is unemployed and there are no grounds for removing him from the marital residence.
While it is true that he isn’t affectionate or appreciative of his wife, there are no charges of domestic violence, much less any reported domestic abuse. He does have a tendency to be emotionally abusive toward his wife, but the laws concerning spousal emotional abuse are vague at best. So how does counsel plan to get him out of the house?
Now it gets even more interesting. The woman actually believes that the $5000 retainer, which she is planning to give counsel, will be given back to her.
Impact of False Promises
I’d venture to say that this woman has found a master salesman who has manipulated her with promises and aided in fueling her need to feel herself empowered relative to her husband. Finally, she gets to call the shots and her partner “will” be the underdog.
She exudes empowerment and it looks to be feeding her well-being and willingness to join forces with this attorney on a ride of legal domestic abuse.
Realities of Domestic Abuse Divorce
Once her partner is served with divorce papers, what do you think he will do? Do you think he will say, “You want me out of the house and how much money do you need in my absence?” I doubt it.
Most likely, he will seek counsel and fortify himself with legal representation. Now it is also likely that his counsel will encourage him not to willfully abandon the marital residence. So, the race will be on to see which partner can push the other one out.
There is another little important piece that I trust you have probably assumed. The husband controls the family money. So once his legal retainer runs out, he can dip into the family purse to pay his counsel.
But his economically un-empowered soon-to-be ex cannot. How do you imagine this will impact the proceedings? As in most legal matters, he who pays—or controls payment—puts their case before the court.
In the Spirit of Helping You
I do realize this little vignette paints an ugly picture around how divorce law is frequently practiced. The intention, however, is to help you wake up before your first bout with legal domestic abuse, so you can best prepare yourself for a fair and equitable divorce settlement and safe departure from your partner.
If you do your homework ahead of time and keep your eyes open during your proceedings, you will be much more likely to position yourself for a successful outcome in your divorce.
For more information about legal abuse and divorce, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_abuse.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps domestic abuse survivors block legal-psychiatric abuse in divorce and custody cases nationwide. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
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Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.