Domestic Violence Child Custody:
King Solomon and the Fractured Child
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
I frequently hear patients tell me about their concerns over finding justice through the legal system when domestic violence is before divorce court. Just this week, three people cited a parallel with the King Solomon story.
The story is so very compelling that when you are living it, the biblical prose can be therapeutic. It certainly was for me in my court dilemma over a decade ago.
For those of you battling to have your voice and your child’s voice heard in divorce court, sit back...take this story in and see if it touches your underlying conflict.
The King Solomon Story
There was a woman who had a baby. And one night while sleeping with her infant next to her side, she rolled over onto her infant. Sadly, her baby died.
In her desperation she took another woman’s baby, claiming it to be her own...actually insisting this infant was her own.
The two women fought over the baby on and on, bringing attention of their dispute to King Solomon. He declared, “I will settle this once and for all!”
He told his aid to fetch a knife as the women continued arguing, each insisting the baby to be theirs. King Solomon reached for the knife and said, “We shall cut the baby in half.”
And as he brought the knife over his head ready to split the infant in two, one woman shouted, “No, King Solomon,” “No, please don’t cut the baby...don’t hurt the baby...give the baby to her!”
King Solomon stopped cold, bringing down the knife and said, “You are the mother of this infant baby.” And he gave the baby to her.
How Family Court Enables Child Abuse
When you take a battered child, or one who has been abused through witnessing spousal abuse, and insist that this child vacillate between his/her divorcing parents’ truths, you end up with a child imploding with conflict that ultimately can lead to psychological fracture.
We often see the protective parent shout to the court as the mother did to King Solomon, “your honor, please do not cut the baby!” These parents realize that the ongoing bifurcation of the child’s young psyche can potentially cause psychic devastation.
If you are in family court and your child is being compromised over your voices being silenced, you are not alone. Reach into you heart for the sake of your child and find the way that works best for you to navigate these troubled waters. And most importantly, as you search your soul for answers, educate yourself about the trends, procedures and options you have to protect your children and yourself before the damage is done.
For more information about domestic violence child custody, read Legal Domestic Abuse: How to Successfully Navigate the System www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_abuse.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
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Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.