When Bullies Bulldoze
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
When bullies bulldoze, all hell can break lose. Have you ever been in an encounter with a bully? They already know exactly what they are seeking and come to you as though their plan is yours even before you buy in.
There is no room for your opinion much less time to formulate it. The bulldozer is positioned plowing forth and you are indeed bulldozed.
Now if you hesitate in their campaign, be careful because you will be blasted. This is where the bullying comes in. You can be met with a shower of verbal sniping and emotional psychological abuse all intended to weaken your hold to your own position. The hope, of course, being that you will let go and embrace their campaign.
Yielding to the Bully
Sometimes you may find yourself simply giving in so as to avoid further conflict. You submit just to get the darn thing over with, but in your heart you know you are not being true to yourself.
Many people deal with bullies in this way. And later, they walk away feeling taken advantage of...used and abused.
Standing Up to the Bully
Then, there are times that you may be compelled to stand up to the bully and step outside of the path of their bulldozer. You feel good about holding to what is right for you. But deep down inside, you sense the bullying battle may not be over...because the bully didn’t get their way.
This is how you know you are dealing with a bully. Bullies don’t take “no” for an answer. They will fight you all the way. They will demean you, diminish you, bagger you...whatever it takes to get you to yield to their will. It is all part of the bullying BS. See it for what it is and know it is not about you.
It is about the way they use physical, psychological, mental, emotional and verbal abuse to get their way. It is about how they impose their will without regard for your rights and your preferences.
Can you move beyond bullying? Yes, you can. If you stay out of the battle, breathe, set boundaries and be true to yourself, you will find the road to your inner peace.
Where you will need some strategy is in dealing with the outer chaos that bullies create in their efforts to campaign your engagement and compliance. Leave the bully in their battle and all else will fall into place supporting your well-being.
If you are in a relationship with someone that bullies, be mindful of the dynamics of bullying behavior. For more information on bullying, controlling and abusive relationships visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/spousal_abuse_tx.php and claim Free Instant Access to The 7 Realities of Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals and couples worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.
© Dr Jeanne King — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.