Battered Men - The Responsibility
of the Abused Macho Super Man
by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Part of the glue that binds abusive relationships is the victim's sense of perceived responsibility within the relationship. And battered men are as guilty in the responsibility department as are battered women.
For the Abused Man
You have to endure all and be the strongest all the time, even in the face of your greatest weakness. And you think you must draw from this strength the resources to fix everything.
You believe you must withstand the "macho ethic," which says stand here and take it. It's the "suffer in silence" syndrome.
Real Responsibility of the Macho Man
While all along you have been assuming your Job is to weather it and/or fix it, the truth of the matter is you can't. Over time you will see that subjecting yourself to ongoing battering from your spouse or girlfriend will net you inner destruction.
This kind of stress doesn't make you stronger; to the contrary, it depletes you of your inner resources and compromises your psychological integrity from the inside out.
Your perceived ability to "fix" it is also a myth. You cannot fix what is not yours. Battering is owned, operated and controlled by the batterer and no one else.
The only real responsibility you have in your abusive relationship is to yourself. You must ask yourself, what do you need to secure your safety and your personal well-being in this unpredictable destructive environment.
The moment you relinquish responsibility to and for her battering behavior, a window of options open up for you to pursue. These new directions can lead you back to rekindling the wholeness and happiness that awaits you. It's your "Job" to make this happen. It's all up to you!
For more information about battered men in abusive relationships, visit http://preventabusiverelationships.com/abused_men.php and claim your Free Instant Access to your survivor success eInsights. Dr Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps abused men and battered women recognize, end and heal from domestic violence. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
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