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By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is living in an abusive relationship, these are not always the clues that inspire the abused to leave. |
As human beings we have an enormous capacity to whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to compartmentalize our pain. It is our psychological coping procedure that in many respects helps us manage distress and keeps us sane.
So when your daughter or son puts a blanket of denial around the import of an assault, or a bucket of ridiculous rationalization around the last relationship blowout, realize the mechanism in play here. If your goal is to have your daughter or son see the light of the danger they live, instead look to the subtle to open eyes.
The Importance of the Subtle Signs in Abusive Relationships
It’s the little things that happen daily that are utterly convincing because they simply cannot be denied. You see these little things, the subtle signs, are ever so pervasive. They are in one’s face 24/7. How can you deny something that you stumble upon daily or even weekly?
In working with people in abusive relationships over the years, I have found that as I help them identify the subtle signs of their own abusive relationship the light turns itself on glaring them in the eyes.
Look to the subtle communication patterns of intimate partner violence should you wish to shine the light on an abusive relationship that you suspect, or even know, your adult child to live. For help in recognizing these subtle signs of abuse, see the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen. Dr. Jeanne King helps individuals recognize and end domestic abuse.
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©Copyright 2008 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com
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