Your Questions and Your Concerns
You might be thinking...
Why don't I bring the abuse issue to a couples counselor?
This could be as dangerous as going to your dentist for a pap smear. Marital and couples therapy are improper methods to effect therapeutic change for domestic abuse.
Marital and family therapy is suitable for couples and family issues. As you will see, partner/spousal abuse is not in this category.
In one of the free Bonuses that comes with the Intimate Partner Abuse ScreenŽ, I explain in greater depth why couples therapy is inappropriate for domestic abuse intervention, why it does not-and cannot-end battering, and how it can even be dangerous for the abused partner.
You may have also contemplated speaking with a divorce attorney (either now or later).
This too can exacerbate your danger if other steps are not taken first. It is extremely important that you first get clear and grounded in your understanding and strategic planning for your safety before expecting a professional from one discipline to manage the issues inherent in another profession.
And most important be mindful that civil court is not the proper forum for domestic abuse intervention. The reasons for this are also detailed in your Bonuses that accompany the Intimate Partner Abuse ScreenŽ.
Maybe I should talk to my psychologist about the abuse.
Here's the shocker!!! Psychologists and psychiatrists are not trained in domestic violence interventions as prescribed by domestic violence experts. And even scarier: they can be, and often are, manipulated in the therapeutic process by the perpetrator to carry out his/her agenda.
Now I realize this is a strong statement to make given that I'm a psychologist of over 25 years, but it's true-and was even true for me. My professional training and practice was in bio-behavioral medicine, in which I helped people with chronic medical disorders to ease their pain, mend their injuries and heal their illnesses.
Domestic violence education was not-and is not-part of the traditional curriculum for psychologists.
My training in domestic abuse didn't occur until my postgraduate, post personal experience of family violence. And I received my doctorate in psychology from one of the top universities in the United States.
There are far too many nuances specific to domestic abuse intervention to expect proper management by people from other professions (as we have discussed). Let these other professionals manage what they are trained in, and proficient at, and use domestic abuse specialists for domestic violence. This way you get the best of both worlds.
Why not just get a freebie abuse checklist on the Internet?
Many of the free checklists focus on a few of the "popularized" symptoms of abuse, rather than on the full constellation of symptoms that constitute this syndrome-the 5 "red flags"-the 5 distinctive, defining core characteristics.
I'm guessing you want to go deeper in your understanding of what this syndrome truly is and clarify for yourself if "intimate partner violence," as defined by the professional literature, is what troubles you.
I'm also imagining that you want your understanding of domestic abuse to be relevant to your world, your inner world and your outer world. You won't get this personalization from a mere checklist that does not evaluate your results, or analyze and interpret your answers. Your ability to draw meaningful conclusions becomes guesswork at best with these freebie checklists.
Why isn't the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen free?
I have even been asked why isn't the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® free. So just in case you're wondering the same, please understand the delivery of this online etest is made possible by the support of those that use it.
Plus as I said in the question above, this is not a freebie checklist. You are getting a clear and definitive diagnoses of "intimate partner violence" should it be in your relationship. We are taking the guesswork out of the puzzle for you.
When you identify the condition clearly and accurately, you will treat it more effectively and successfully. If you don't, one day you will treat it like it is alcohol abuse, then it may look like partner abuse or narcissistic personality, or even intermittent explosive disorder. You can go round and round essentially not treating it at all, if you fail to diagnose it.
Maybe I don't really want "understanding," because blindness is bliss.
While it is true, blindness may feel like bliss; knowledge is power!
If you know what you are dealing with, you will be more effective in accomplishing the outcome you desire. Whereas if you do not know what you are dealing with, you can get blindsided by malicious maneuvers, paralyzing positioning and vicious, devastating assaults...any of which can turn your life upside down. Don't let that happen to you! Many people never recover.
Find out what it is that troubles you and you will be in a better position to remedy it. Attempts at remedy without knowing what you are dealing with can make your troubles worse, MUCH worse!!! Trust me. I speak from my own experience and that of thousands of people I have worked with over the years.
The good part here is that there are sound, viable options for treating partner/spousal abuse, if and when it is properly identified. The Special Report that comes with your Free Bonuses details what works and what doesn't.
What if my partner finds out that I took this test?
You will complete the entire test from this website AND obtain your results from here as well. Then close the website AND the knowledge, along with your understanding, remain in your head and heart-leaving no paper trail behind.
Also, rest assured that your answers to the test questions are not retained with your identifying information. You will see we don't even ask your name on the test itself. We purposely do not capture this information in combination so as to honor your personal privacy.
Should you use your credit card in this transaction, be assured that I know the "partner-finding-out" issue and safety implications for you like the back of my hand. That's why your transaction will be posted on your statement as coming from King Publications. We promise you it will NOT say Intimate Partner Abuse Screen.
For additional information concerning our privacy precauctions for you, please click here.
We will offer you downloadable Bonuses with an Intimate Partner Abuse ScreenŽ ordered today, and you can choose to download these e-books and Special Reports or not. That will be your decision.