By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
I notice that when people are told to write as a) a way to keep records of the ongoing abuse episodes and domestic altercations, or b) for the healing effect, they recoil.
If I didn’t know better I’d think they felt as though they were getting an assignment right out of grade school. And since we know the authority issues in their lives make this rather undesirable, it is understandable why one would not want to journal. However...
Here is why this is doing oneself a disservice. If you recoil when given the assignment of journaling, you miss the rapture and healing remedy of writing.
Healing Writing: How and to Whom?
But before I elaborate on what I mean by that, let’s talk for a moment about what kind of writing I’m talking about. It’s effortless. It’s innocent. It’s conversational. It’s spontaneous. It’s authentically fluid and it’s you connecting with your reader.
Now this reader could be your attorney, your partner, your children (for their future) or in the case of your evidence building: yourself.
While it is true that you’re accomplishing something that will serve you in your case and/or in your life, thus you’re being productive, this doesn’t mean it’s “work” or “homework.”
It’s the work of lingering in a space that has a healing effect AND produces a natural elevation of mood and overall well-being. Now there are definite reasons for this. We’ll leave that for another article as it is beyond the scope of my point here.
Healing Writing: On and about What?
Try it for a week or more… Carve out a 20 to 30 minute period in your day and go to your keyboard with the intention of journaling. That is writing what’s up for you in the moment.
For example if your counsel is acting out, on this day you write a letter to your attorney. If something is happening in your life that you want your children to understand in their adult life, you write to them. If you and your partner have had an altercation, you journal this as though you are making a mental note for yourself or for a future court proceeding should you be headed in that direction.
Then there will be days that you go to the keyboard or to your pen and you say to yourself: I have nothing to write about. Oh no, not so! In that moment you go inside and more often than not, something will emerge from within that upsets you, that you long for, that interests you…that is merely on your mind. So on this day you write about that.
You will see over time that there is a pattern to how you experience yourself and your life in general on the days you write as compared to the days that you don’t. Ultimately, you will come to know the rapture and healing effect of writing.
For more information about abusive relationships, survivor success secrets and healing insights, visit www.StopSpousalAbuse.com and claim you free, Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., psychologist, author and speaker, helps individuals identify and end domestic abuse, and heal from abusive relationships.
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©Copyright 2008 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com