Domestic Abuse Therapy Ė 4 Fundamental
Steps to Dismantling Your Partnerís Denial

Dr. King

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

You may be longing for help with domestic abuse, yet your partner is in complete denial. What do you do?

Some people shy away from getting help for domestic violence because they claim that their partner will ďneverĒ admit to being abusive. Well, this may be true, but this is certainly not a reason to allow things to remain status-quo.

Your partnerís denial is the normal resistance in the initial stage of treatment. Domestic violence therapy is designed to help one overcome that very resistance. Oftentimes people donít even acknowledge their being abusive until well into a domestic abuse treatment program.

Effective abuse therapy is geared toward inspiring the realization that they are in need of this treatment. And a goal of the therapy is that the client will engage in healthy responsibility-taking, rather than victim-blaming.

Clients often enter domestic abuse therapy with a highly developed sense of denial and resistance to acknowledging their abusive behavior. And over time, accountability takes over.

Hereís how the progression occurs...

1) Fear of loss of something that is dear to themÖtheir intimate relationship, their family, their children, their jobs, status in the community, the threat of public humiliation and, for some people, a profound fear of being alone.

2) Realization of victim empathy...transcending their own self-centered narcissism and beginning to understand the damaging effects that their behavior has on their partner as well as on other people in the family.

3) Understanding legal consequences...connecting with the legal implications of their domestically abusive behavior sends and sustains an enduring message. They donít want to get locked up. They donít want to lose their job. And they donít want to lose their social standing.

4) Self-inspired realization that they donít want to live like this...They donít want to be driven by insecurity, jealousy and anxiety. The batterer is not happy battering. They may be addicted to it, but at the end of the day, when they are looking at themselves, it does not feel good.

The denial and the resistance are very normal on the front end and effective therapy is designed to address this. So, you acknowledge that your partnerís denial is part of the abuse dynamic, and you expect effective therapy to dismantle it.

For information about effective domestic abuse therapy, visit and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.