Domestic Violence Victims - The Silencing
of Battered Women and Abused Men

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

For decades battered women have been accused of being “crazy.” But, what does that mean?

Is she really crazy? That is, does she truly have a psychiatric disorder? Is her alleged psychopathology real?

Has she been told—by non-professionals—that she’s crazy? For example, does her battering partner tell her she’s mentally ill, and her in-laws chime in, like a choir, declaring her “craziness?”

Or, has she undergone a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation gone awry. Has her soon-to-be ex funded the mission and overwhelmed the evaluators with his “sanity” and her “pathological” behavior?

Silencing of the Battered Woman and Abused Man

The easiest way to silence a victim of domestic violence is to establish that they are mentally and emotionally defective or just back them into a criminal charge. For over ten years I have noticed that battered women are more likely to be silenced by being pathologized, and battered men criminalized.

You’ve probably seen this in your life or maybe even experiencing it yourself. And you probably know how effective it is in silencing the abused. It conveniently makes the victim the problem. And with this, it nullifies any expectation of accountability on the part of the perpetrator.

It’s so effective that not only do the outsiders looking in believe the staged dynamics, but the abused often buys into it as well. Then with this, they come to believe that what they experience is NOT “really” abuse.

Rather, they are just inappropriately interpreting what’s going on because of their psychopathology. And when criminalized, they start to question if they are indeed an abuser.

Cracking the Shield of the Silenced Domestic Abuse Victim

If you are questioning yourself in this way and wondering, “Am I crazy?” “Is this abuse?” “Am I an abuser?”...Then take a look at your circumstances from the outside looking in. Get yourself an objective opinion about the label or charge you have been given.

Beware, however, when checking from the outside in. Make sure you assess your circumstances from beyond the scope of the dynamics from which you live. If you don’t, you may end up securing an opinion that supports your criminalization or your psychopathology.

Specifically, if you try to determine if you are an abuser from within your extended family, your vision can become quite blurred. And if you stay in the same circle of divorce politics, you may not get the objectivity you seek.

Conversely, if you discover through objective assessment that you do have a psychiatric disorder or you are a domestic violence batterer, then deal with it. Get the help you need before your condition worsens or spirals out of control.

For more insights that help domestic abuse victims, visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ebooks.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010, Jeanne King, Ph.D. Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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