Domestic Violence Self-Help
How to Find Your Answers from Within

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

 

There are no “right” or “wrong” answers when it comes to domestic violence. Each situation is as unique as each person living it. You heard me. There are as many variations to this story as there are people living it. So, don’t let anyone tell you what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do.

Far too often survivors of domestic abuse look to other people for answers to questions that truly lie within. They pursue the “wisdom” of those they pay for legal advice to those that shelter them from the danger in their homes. And sadly, they do this all awhile ignoring their own inner most wisdom.

It’s almost as if their inner voice does not speak to them or they have become accustomed to letting its guidance fall upon their own deaf ears. I certainly don’t fault them for being out of touch with themselves in this way; I see it as going hand-in-hand with living in an abusive relationship.

Let’s face it, when your significant other bombards you with discount upon discount, eventually you grow to discount yourself. And with that said, you can see how that inner voice stops speaking when you need it most. It certainly did for me in the years that I lived in an abusive relationship.

Hearing Answers Within

There is nothing more powerful, more potent, more meaningful to an individual than a signal from within. There truly isn’t. Think of every major decision you have ever made in your entire life in which the direction you took was really the right direction for you. Where did you get that information?

Chances are, it was from within. If you are in an abusive relationship, catch yourself as you reach out to others for your answers. And let your doing this become your signal to remind you to check in with yourself.

You may wish to find a place to sit quietly alone. And with eyes closed, you may better feel the sensations within...out from which images and words can follow. In the nuggets that effortlessly spring forward are answers to your most burning personal questions.

Trusting and Following Your Gut

Let’s say you are okay up to this point and you get wind of the messages from within, but then you don’t trust what you hear. And even worse, you fail to follow your inner knowing.

Then you want to become practiced in testing out your inner guidance by acting on small less significant information first. With time, you will notice the more you do this, the more faith you cultivate in your inner voice.

Answers for Domestic Violence Survivors

When you ponder if you should or shouldn’t do ABC, think about this little Internet article that you have just read. And instead of running to someone for answers, seek to unveil them from within. Instead of running to someone to tell you what to do, find someone who will help you access your own inner voice. Once you uncover it in all its clarity, you will delight in the purposeful direction you experience.

For more information on finding answers within and healing from domestic abuse, see Domestic Abuse Healing from Within www.preventabusiverelationships.com/healing_from_within.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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